Weapon of Mass Folksiness

I’m getting that uneasy feeling that in the person of Sarah Palin, we are seeing the folksy hijacking of the presidential election by the same gang of political terrorists who managed to install the illiterate George Bush as the leader of the free world and destroy the American Dream.

The Palin Phenomenon shows no sign of letting up, now nearly a week after she burst on the scene with a rollicking speech at the Republican National Convention. The main characteristic of this self-proclaimed hockey mom’s meteoric rise in popularity among hard core Republicans and even independents seems to be her ability to deflect any and all criticism back onto her critics. She’s not just the Teflon candidate, she’s rubberized, and if you sling something at her you’d better be prepared for it to come right back at you. Take the truth, for example.

In Palin’s standard stump speech, she claims she “told Congress ‘thanks but no thanks on that bridge to nowhere.’” Only problem is she supported funding for the bridge, and a host of other earmarks for Alaska. Her opposition to the bridge started about the same time Congress removed it as a possible project. They still sent the money to Alaska, though, and Palin spent it.

She also claims, along with McCain, to be anti-lobbyist. But her campaign (can John McCain really claim it at this point?) employs dozens of lobbyists, and as mayor of Wasilla, Alaska, Palin employed the town’s very first lobbyist to help secure funding for local projects. And she claims she had no role in firing an Alaska state trooper who was also her brother-in-law (and apparently a wife beater), but an investigation into that is ongoing.

But because the Obama Kool Aid-drunk left immediately lashed out at Palin on blogs and elsewhere shortly after McCain selected her, claiming her pregnant teen daughter showed Palin’s hypocrisy in advocating abstinence-only sex education, mocking her daughter’s decision to have a baby at 17 and marry the father, criticizing Palin’s decision to seek the vice presidency despite recently giving birth to a special needs child (and some even suggested it wasn’t her child but her daughter’s) and insinuating she was a book-banner, among dozens of other questionable assertions and critiques, the left ended up fueling a new McCain campaign strategy: link Obama and the liberal media.

It was only a matter of time before the media’s deification of Barack Obama backfired. For months we’ve had Obama shoved down our throats. His campaign rallies were like rock concerts—teens screamed, women swooned, men wept … and it was all shown on nightly on the news and slapped on the front pages of daily newspapers. It was as if Obama was a steamroller on a mission of change.

But folks don’t like to feel they’re being steamrolled, especially by the media. And so when McCain chose this unknown Alaska governor and former small-town mayor, who also happens to be an evangelical Christian, to be his running mate, well, as they say, it was On.

And so here we are, less than a week after the RNC and fewer than 60 days until the election, and Obama and Palin … er, excuse me, Obama and McCain … are virtually tied in the polls. Meanwhile, Sarah Palin continues to claim she opposed the Bridge to Nowhere, was uninvolved in the firing of her brother-in-law. She also claims she fired the Governor’s chef when in fact news reports indicate the chef was reassigned.

So far, Palin’s only exposure has been through a carefully choreographed rollout by the Republican Party. She’s taken no media questions. That will change on Wednesday when Palin is interviewed by ABC News’s Charlie Gibson. Liberals waiting eagerly for Palin to be “exposed” as a northern rube in her first TV interview are, I fear, going to be sorely disappointed. You think Charlie Gibson … “Good Morning, America” Charlie Gibson is going to fluster Palin after she’s had a week to prepare? You think they put her on the ticket knowing she’d get knocked off message so easily? No way. I can see the exchange now….

Gibson: “Governor Palin, can you respond to those who say you supported the so-called bridge to nowhere before you opposed it?”

Palin: “Charlie, you know the liberal media has said a lot of things about me since I was fortunate enough to be asked to run with Senator McCain. I’ve always opposed the bridge. When my grandmother came to America on the Mayflower to seek the American dream, she told me never compromise what you believe in. I think those are small-town values, and they are my values.”

Gibson: “Well, Governor, of course you know it’s impossible for your grandmother to have come over on the mayflower, as that occurred nearly 400 years ago. And there was no ‘America’ then, of which to dream.”

Palin: “Charlie, you know I really can’t believe you and Senator Obama would criticize the American Dream in this way. I mean, I know that you’re both Muslim, but….”

Gibson: “Governor Palin, what are you talking about?”

Palin: “I’m talking about the American Dream, Charlie. I’m going to Washington to fight for that dream on behalf of all Americans.”

Gibson: “Governor, I’m afraid we’re out of time. Thank you so much for not stomping on my balls and unleashing your Republican Feministas on me and my network. God bless you and all your folksiness.”

That’s it, isn’t it? Sarah Palin comes across as folksy, and therefore relates to everyday Americans.

Well, folks, I don’t want a folksy president, or even a folksy vice president. I want my president and vice president to be the smartest people in the room. I want to feel stupid next to them. I want my president and vice president to be the fucking president and vice president, not my goddam drinking buddies.

Obama’s not perfect. But to me he’s a lot less imperfect than McCain and the Obama-Biden ticket has more gravitas to it than McCain-Palin.

Do both sides fudge the truth sometimes? Yes. But Palin and McCain are outright lying right now about their record of “reform.” It’s outside the bounds of what’s acceptable, even politically. This isn’t just stretch a few facts and let the people sort it out. These bastards are speaking plain untruths about important shit and then attacking anyone who calls them on it. It’s absurd!

What’s more absurd, though, and frankly more worrying, is that it seems to be working. A certain segment of the population is eating this stuff up. I guess if nothing else, this election will answer an important question: how stupid are we, really? The answer, I’m afraid, is too close to call right now.

The Indignant Citizen