Giving us the Business

Let us spend a moment in consideration of Shirley McMayon, former Chicago Park District bigwig and payola pimpess extraordinaire. Prosecutors alleged on Thursday that McMayon, who has since left the Midwest to join the high-net-worth crowd carving up the Park City, Utah, area into their own sprawling crack den, took more than $120,000 in cash and benefits in exchange for directing $8 million worth of park district business to certain firms.

We use the term “business” loosely here, given that according to newspaper accounts some of the work involved the landscaping firms turning the park district around and giving IT the business by billing for work that was never performed, sometimes in amounts suspiciously similar in size to recent bribes paid to McMayon. McMayon received cash payments, vacations and—are you ready?—tickets to Green Bay Packers games.

As the Indignant Citizen’s friend and former coworker Jon put it today, “So I’m reading about the Park District scandal, and what does it say that my main reaction is, ‘Packers tickets?!’”

What does it say indeed? And what does it say about McMayon that she would be working for the Chicago Park District and accept Packers tickets as a bribe? Loyalty isn’t what it used to be. Then again, maybe she enjoys a good sharp cheddar dildo now and then and the only place she knew of to obtain one without anyone recognizing her was through Billy’s Exotic Dancing in Green Bay. The Packers tickets were just a cover.

The photo of McMayon in the Sun-Times on Friday looked it was of her on a bike; apparently the photo department tracked down someone who knew her and had this picture in an album or perhaps even on his or her desk. She lives in Park City, where, coincidentally, the Indignant Citizen will be traveling next week. And guess what? She’s in the phone book! In case you want to give her a call and ask her yourself about her corrupt ways, anywho.com has her at 435.649.9144. There’s also an address, which the Indignant Citizen will not publish here. Instead he will perhaps try for a first-person interview.

Although she may be busy, what with the indictment and all. She might not have time to entertain callers. Plus you know, it’s almost football season, and the Indignant Citizen bets it’s hard to find cheddar dildos in Utah.